Complaint Free World

I first heard about the “complaint free world” movement last month.  It was given as an example of how a good idea can take hold, get a little publicity, and spread like wildfire.  Then one of my clients mentioned she was doing the practice.  Every time she said a complaint she took a bracelet off one wrist and switched it to the other.  This morning a friend sent me a blog post on how he was doing the challenge as well.

The first time I heard about this challenge, I thought it was a great idea for other people.  However, I disregarded it for myself.  I didn’t think it was anything I needed at this point in my life.  My awareness of what I am doing is fairly developed, having worked on it for decades.  However, I tend to take notice when something passes by my attention three times.

The challenge is simply to not speak a complaint for a full 21 days.  You wear a bracelet as a reminder.  If you slip and complain, you move the bracelet to the other wrist and begin counting your days over.  The idea originated with a Will Bowen, a Unity minister, who noticed a lot of complaining around him and offered this idea as a solution for people to break the habit.  He went on to write a book which you can get on Amazon:

I began the challenge today. I’m using the bracelet in the  picture – starting on my left wrist.  Lets see how long before it moves.

The first question for me was, “What is a complaint?”  If I go outside and say, “It is cold” am I complaining or am I making an observation.  I think my strict definition will be that an observation without a judgement word will be considered a non-complaint.  For instant, “It is cold” or “I am cold” will pass, but “It is miserable out” or “It is too cold” will be a break.  The question of tone and intent comes into play.  “I am cold” with a whine would be a complaint.  However, I am not going to count that as a break, although I sense I won’t be saying anything with a whine for the next 21 days.

Gossiping is also out.  This used to be an issue for me, and I managed to wipe it out years ago.  Again, there is some gray area with this.  Any kind of talk about someone else, I question as gossip.  However, sometimes, such as in giving a recommendation to someone about another practitioner, it seems appropriate to provide my observations about the person’s style, etc.

The critical thing for me is to be aware of what I am saying and what it creates for me and the people around me.  I am looking forward to closing watching my thoughts and words for the next 21 days.  Would you join me?  I look forward to your comments below.




My Money Reality

In the late 80’s my average monthly expenses after housing (rent/mortgage) was about $1200 a month.  Thirty-five years later that number was about $1600.  Since the cost of living had gone up, and my expenditures had not, that meant my standard of living had dropped significantly.  The cost of living calculator reports $1200 in 1989 would be the equivalent of $2313 in 2016.

Although I have always lived frugally, I found myself skimping on the quality of the food, household furnishings, and clothes I bought.  I was saddened that I was compromising my values in order to live within my means.  I accepted the compromise, since during the period of 2009 to 2014 my focus was primarily on my meditative practice.  I worked just enough to support myself during the periods where I was primarily meditating.money2

Part of my money story includes making a decision in 1995 to never be driven to do any activity because I felt financial pressure.  I had heard maxims that included “the universe will support us” and that if you “do what you love the money will follow”.  In my thirties, with a small nest egg, I felt secure enough to test out these tenets. I figured if they were wrong I still had time to recoup and if they were right I wouldn’t waste my life doing work that I wasn’t completely thrilled about.

My experiment resulted in me enjoying lots of leisure time, only doing work I loved, and always having enough money.  I have never been in debt, except for home mortgages.  I felt I was blessed by a stinginess with money that allowed me to enjoy saving more than spending.

That perspective on saving changed after my nest egg disappeared in 2000 during the stock market crash.  When I looked back on the money I could have spent and enjoyed – maybe on something frivolous like travel or entertainment – and saw that it had just evaporated with no benefit to me, I decided to put more value on using my money for me rather than saving it for later.  I learned that “later” might never come.

I started asking myself, “Do you want that?”  I made of point of getting myself everything I wanted.  I never told my self I could not afford something.  I knew that line was a lie.  I knew that it was always a choice.  Even towards the end of my “retreat”, when my standard of living was dropping, I was aware that I was choosing to spend my money on free time and valued that more than I did fancy organic food.

When I started to reenter the world in 2014 two questions came up.

What would I like to create?


How can I get the resources to create bigger than I have ever before?

To answer the first question I began exploring what was valuable to me.  Of course simple living and peace were the first things to come to mind.  My personal drive for freedom (enlightenment) is not something shared by many people.  Perhaps Mahatma Gandhi sums it up best:

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Most people are not interested in ultimate peace, but they are interested in financial peace of mind, peace in their relationships, freedom from excess weight, freedom from unpleasant experiences, and more ease and joy.  I could see there were a large variety of ways I could contribute to people leading regular lives and offer people freedom.  It took me awhile to pick where I wanted to focus; that is another story.

The second question was about stretching beyond the money reality I was living in.  I knew I had a poverty mentality.  I lived in the ghetto and was comfortable there.  The values of my parents, the decrease in my standard of living, the money choices I was making, all contributed to a life of lack.  I was aware my vision of what to create was small and my financial vision was even smaller. I was also aware that I was capable of something bigger.  I seemed unable to stretch my vision bigger.

I entertained the questions:  What would it take for me to be like those people that produce big conventions or create big healing centers?  What would it take for me to be willing to “waste” money to create more?  What would it be like to be wealthy?  What would it be like to not worry when I throw out a plastic container that could be reused or recycled?  What would it be like to have employees and let them just do their job?

I was choosing to get beyond what my money reality had been.  I was willing to step away from all my judgments and conclusions around money and work.  With this choice and willingness I discovered tools that would assist me in the process of expanding my possibilities around money.  I got the most benefit from using the Access Consciousness tools that I picked up from classes, books and friends.

I have taken the advice of Gary Douglas that I heard on a radio show.  He told a listener that had phoned in about money issues that having money and wealth is just a choice.  If you desire to have money (or anything else you lack) then you have to tell yourself, “I am going to learn how to have money.”  Here is a blog where he gives similar advice:

I am still in the process of changing my money reality.  I am learning how to have money and how to be wealthy.  Part of my process is contributing to others that would also like to change their money reality.  So many times I hear people turn down opportunities (classes, vacations, and treatments) that would benefit them because “they don’t have enough money”.  I have done the same thing myself in the past without realizing just how much more ease the things I was refusing could have brought me.  I was asking the question “Do I want this?” and coming up with a “No” when better questions would have been, “Will this contribute to my life?”  “Will this make me more money?” or “What will my life be like in five years if I choose this?”

Would you like a different reality with money? What would it take for you to have more money than you have been able to imagine?  What if it was easier than you think?

Check out my upcoming How to Change Your Money Reality workshop.  Workshops can be attended in person or live-streamed from anywhere.  Only $36 so all you penny-pinchers can join also.


Access Consciousness Radio Show

Money Isn’t the Problem, You Are by Gary Douglas

How To Become Money Workbook by Gary Douglas