When I first started studying Chi Gung my teacher was very much into saying how this was the best form and best way and how other people did it wrong. I internalized not just his Chi Gung but this message of good/bad and better than others. It was years after I left him and was practicing on my own that I noticed my inner dialog and I realized it didn’t reflect what I valued and I began the practice of letting it go.

When I moved to Phoenix from California I wanted to take up formal training again. I interviewed different teachers and groups. The first group was excellent, very detailed like I prefer, but they were critical of others form, etc. I knew if I studied with them I would be a constant challenge not to pick up that attitude. I knew that I would either begin to think like them or judge them for thinking that way. Neither thought pattern would serve me. I decided not to study with them.

I also contacted a couple other teachers. I did one lesson with a gentleman that was somewhat laissez-faire but nice. Another teacher offered me one of his student teachers that could come to me to give me an introduction. I did several sessions with the student teacher. She was detailed and very, very good, but she also carried that pride.

It turns out she was a student of teacher certified by the teacher that I thought was too relaxed. You can do the math. If she was really good and was trained in the same lineage as the relaxed teacher and her teacher claimed he learned it all from the relaxed teacher, than Mr. Relaxed must be very good too. Anyway, I opted for the teacher that was loving and generous without the need to be critical of others. It was a very good choice for my mindstream and the beginning of retraining in “easy does it”. Something I am still in the process of embodying.

Fast forward to today. I try to value every human being without exclusion. I wish to treat each human being with care, compassion, respect and to honor their dignity. I know some people like to hate their enemies, but I’ve found that chemical cocktail of emotions does not serve me and I like to feel good.

When I hear people cheering when someone is assassinated, or wishing someone would be assassinated, I’m a little shocked and somewhat saddened. I don’t hate the haters. I have to remind myself this is part of the human condition. It motivates me to cultivate more inner peace.

Yesterday, after noticing my friend had an anti-someone bumper sticker I was motivated to write this post. She is a really nice person and I was surprised by her disliking someone so much to put that sticker on her car. I wondered if she even knew the person or anything about their track record. What is there to do? I know that some people hate some of the people I admire and aspire to be like. That’s just part of the human condition.

There are people that claim this divisiveness is becoming greater. I know that being part of groups, like my Chi Gung experience, where the norm is to be critical of others or judgmental encourages what might be called “group think”. A state where we forget to think for ourselves but let the status quo go. I’m seeing a lot of divisiveness, but I imagine it is from my past actions of being critical. Today, I am aligning myself with positive thinkers and people that are solution oriented. I am holding my tongue when I disagree with people on some items.

Here is a clip from Chase Hughes. He is a behavioral expert and I’ve studied with him via the NCI University. He is every skilled at understanding human behavior and has a good heart. He explains in under two minutes his perspective on how we’ve gotten to where we are.

I have been recovering from a cold and used some of the down time to watch movies. I stumbled onto a 2010 movie called “Timer” that revolves around the lives of people in a time when a revolutionary device imbedded in ones arm counts down the time until you meet your soul mate. Apparently the device is pretty much right on – with a 98% satisfaction rating on the matches. Intriguing idea with lots of interesting implications.

The heroine in the story’s timer is blank since her soul mate doesn’t have one – so she’s been dating men only without timers. While her sister’s timer indicates her soulmate shows up when she is 43 years old. Bummer if she wanted to have kids with him. But the part of the story I want to relate is regarding their 14 year old brother. Fourteen is the age when you can get a timer and as soon as his was installed it showed he was due to meet his soulmate within a few days.

Reminiscence of arranged marriages the strangers have a chance meeting. Of course, in this case, it is assumed that two kids that have only said, “Hi,” to each other will eventually get married, etc. Awkwardly, the girl turns out to be the daughter of the family’s Spanish only speaking housecleaner. The white folks try to be inviting and friendly, but the girl’s family are clearly unhappy with the turn of events. Later in the story the girl’s mother takes the boy’s mother aside and with some translation expresses her feelings, “It would have been better if the two kids had started seeing each other in secret. And we would have found out about it – disapproving, yelling, screaming – forcing us to accept their love and each other’s families after they were married.”

I think what struck me was that peoples natural inclinations and attitudes could be so averted by this authority given to the timer. The tradition of marrying within one’s circle or culture falls away for the higher value of true love. In the “old days” they would have forbid the romance only honoring it once they had no choice. So true love was valued then, but had to be proven. The option of exploring love was not valued over the traditions or desires of the parents.

I am always interested in what people give meaning to. For some people to forget a birthday or anniversary is a big deal. Yet, assigning meaning to such events is always made up. We make up the rules and then suffer when someone breaks them. The Timer movie got me wondering what it would take for people to give up some of the rules that really don’t serve them. Is there some authority that is 98% right that could help loosen our grips on the many arbitrary things we give meaning to?